In my life, the two came together yesterday
Mothering a teenager
Cultivating a group on Gaia

I suddenly realized that we had reached a point in our relationship where the child has grown beyond my capacity to provide all her needs, bridge all those gaps, or bring a smile to her face.

It's been a lesson long in coming; and in the typical, usually unremarked way that loving and loved children have, she allowed me space to reach a conclusion that she had reached long ago.

I am now secondary in her life. Maybe even tertiary.

The lesson is not unique. It's been learned  by countless parents since parenting began. Or not learned, thus leading to twisted children and fragmented relationships.

But she has to learn a lesson as well. this is what I told her as we wound down a curvy road on the way home from school:

 "So far, I have been able to  read your mind. You have known that I could do that, and that I would be able to sense what you need. To be able to do that, I had to stay attached to you, your moods, your feelings, your unspoken ideas. [unspoken: This has caused us to have the amazing, close and yet spacious bond we have so far].

Now I will detach. I will no longer sense what you are feeling unless you tell me. I will respond only to your outer behavior. This gives you privacy, gives me freedom. [Ex[ands the space ]

But I am your mother, and will always remain so, always love you, always be available to you whenever you want me to be, even after I die. I will honor that relationship. You will now have to tell me what you want. I will respect you when you do, by listening with full attention, looking at you when you speak. I will also ask for that same respect when I speak to you. Do you accept what I am saying?"

And that ageless one looked out of those dearest eyes and said silently:"I was waiting for you to accept it."

Mothers need to learn the skills of reading their babies,  when babes have only one way to communicate anything. It's tough to now realize that the time for that skill is gone.

How does this translate to cultivating a group on Gaia?
I'll let you know.

Img srce

I am a cultivator on Gaia.
What do I  cultivate?
Groups. Relationships.
Me.

I ended my previous blog [An aha! moment - the mother cultivator ] with:
"How does this translate to cultivating a group on Gaia?
I'll let you know."

So now I will; and as I do, perhaps those seed thoughts swirling around, not planting themselves fully grown as some blogs do, will come to order!

There is a flow that happens in both areas of my life: offline and online. That is a movement into inauthenticity. I take certain steps, and suddenly find myself in a spot where I don't feel "me". I feel stifled. It's rare for me now, but in those moments that I get a headache, I know I've blocked some energy and now it's time to let it go.

What that can mean, is that I need to do something that does NOT seem to be the "higher self". It seems the low road - the one in which I yell at a child or do not help a staff member or ask someone not to post what they did or not accept an offer of a Gaia friendship.

When done right, with heart wisdom, the yelling leads to wonderful discussions of perceptions and needs that were not being shared by the children; a greater sense of empowerment in the staff member; and a calmer acceptance of my reasons, by the members of Gaia.

If not done right, everything escalates, and nothing gets resolved.

When I joined Zaadz that for many of us is still that inner seed that sprouted Gaia, our groups were called pods, and therefore we were cultivators. Taking that analogy further, the cultivator needs to
~ plan the garden [vision, policies, rooms, threads]
~ tend the garden [groups, relationships, self] 
~by removing weeds [unnecessary threads or posts], 
~fertilize what needs to grow [fresh ideas, member support, encouragement ]
~ and something that took me ages to realize, savor the garden that has grown.

When I don't enjoy one of the groups I've grown, I know that I've to re-balance the equation between my actions and those of members. When I feel that I am not able to be authentic in one of "my own groups" it is time to either hand it over to another, or correct my actions and inactions, with the help of fellow cultivators or moderators.

That is why I enjoy the moderator groups on Gaia; where co-moderators can plan and organize and tend those spaces where we interact. And meeting other cultivators in our Mod Pod where we could interact - but perhaps more than we do.

In the aha! moment blog, I shared a moment with my daughter when I realized that her growth meant that both she and I had to allow more space between us and create new linkages so that no gaps are created in communication.

I hope I will know the same with the groups I cultivate or moderate on Gaia.

Born in India and spending much of my life in in many places in that beautiful land, I moved to other countries with my husband. Now we're in MIami, Florida.  The longest I have ever been in a house, is 7 years, and that is here, in Miami!

Of course, what I really am, is tortoise: my home is wherever I am.

People would say that when you move frequently, you cannot set down roots; but I have found my roots extending all over the world, deep into Mother Earth! That is thanks to my parents who opened up the universe for us- letting schooling take care of itself while they told us about the Rishi-Munis, the Masters, [then] esoteric information, and life in general.

 The children's game of "Delhi, India, Asia, World, Earth, Solar System, Universe" is very real to me!!!

My extended family has consisted of people from different parts of India [not usual 60 years ago!] and the world. So  the words "The whole world is kin" are very real to me!

The company of elders, in real or virtual or etheric realms is one of the gifts I prize greatly.  Sometimes I like to be the oldest in any group of people; but I may act the youngest, exclaiming at a bird or flower or squirrel or the wonders of technology; as if seeing them for the first time [often to people shaking their heads at the naivete displayed].
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have worked in many areas - teaching Psychology, Reiki and other systems of healing, meditation classes, and general busybody when people ask advice [ and sometimes when they don't!]. Now my husband and I have our own consultancy firm. One
 interesting assignment as HR consultant , includes helping to set up and administer policies that promote growth and development; and somehow it has all come together; much to  my surprise!

It helps me to bring managerial skills home and mothering skills to the office. Underlining all this, is the perspective of healing, inter-connectedness, wholeness, that help one to change, move and do the right thing as organizations and children and we evolve!

Outwardly, there is a conventional life; and inwardly, the freedom to swim and fly and be. It is possible to live without having to live by others'  - or one's own - thought processes; by flowing......
It helps so much to be a "stranger in a strange land"! People expect you to be different; and I am happy to oblige! 
This causes one to seem westernized to those in the east; and very Indian to those in the west....And those who flow, we re just who we seem at every moment.

Somewhere in between, I have a community of friends that are the joy of my life - in all the places I have lived; and now, many in cyberspace. We meditate, share life stories, concerns, over lunch or a cup of tea.....

[from my profile.]

1) Do you have any brother or sisters?

Yes - two sisters

2) What holidays do you spend with family?
 
Usually travel to India to meet our parents

3) Which relative(s) do you talk to most?

My parents

4) Do you have any pets in your family?

No- but we have a cat friend whom we feed and who plays with us

5) Did you have special family traditions growing up? (vacations, games, tooth fairies?)

Many! We all enjoyed nature walks. 
From Friday Five of Family!

Dear friends, Namaste.

I greet you with folded hands, a warm smile, holding you close in my eyes.

As I look around the group of moderators who have begun this group, I see Eli who blogged about his dream; Nicole who brought it to discuss in the Gaia Networking group, and all of us and more, whose own dreams of a project such as One Light Many Windows, burst forth!

The windows opened and light flooded in.

Now they are opening wider, and I see that more light is waiting to stream in.

I realize I was born into a privileged family; because from childhood we were shown that “There is no religion higher than Truth” and that all humans are brothers and sisters. That there is an underlying truth in all science and religion, which bears studying. My family was a member of the Theosophical Society and I delighted in the international flavor, and the mystical, scholarly, non-ego aspects of what we were exposed to.

As an adult, an added dimension came into my life in the form of energy and light; with attunements, energy clearing and healing techniques learned that helped to bring those teachings into being. I found my guides and teachers in the etheric, celestial and material realms; those I had yearned for in my youth.

The serious child, hungry to know everything there possibly was to know in this world, as fast as possible, who felt she was an insect with antennae all over her body to pick up knowledge; became a most joyful adult. There is nothing we need to do, except to be joyful. If we are not joyful, there are many paths that teach us how to get there.

In this age, the floodgates are open to all who seek.We can now share all the knowledge and wisdom that had been hidden as
esoteric knowledge, to which in early times only monks, priests, and brahmins were
privy. The internet has given us a tool for even further dissemination of the legendary akashic records that my mother had told me about as a child.

I look forward to the reading and sharings in this group as we all grow together in learning and awareness, delighting in the way truth presented herself in myriad ways to different human beings through the ages.

Blessings to those who received and disseminated truth; blessings to those who recorded them for posterity; blessings to those who kept them safe through times of turmoil and tides of time; blessings to those who recognize and thrill at their wonder.

I feel immensely and joyously blessed to be in this light.

 

[cross-posted from introduction to the group One Light Many Windows ]

Let's all blog about Earth on Earth Day April 22 2009

Reaction- Then we would...[what?]

Second reaction- Oh! But we do! [see it as living]

Response- It would not really make any difference would it? We know that Earth is alive, that Gaia is you and me and them and it- all of creation in this third rock from the sun, but what do we do about it?

How long was your shower today?
When was the last time you planted something?
Did you hug the world today?
And how about that living being next door. Did you smile at him?

Ah, you did?!

The universe is a living thing, then.
And so are you.

By James Dacey

Ever since green issues crossed over to the mainstream in the 1980s, James Lovelock’s Gaia metaphor has always felt a little bit passé. Now it may be allowed to flourish once again in the 21st century as a bunch of environmental scientists report that the rocky Earth is “breathing”.

Carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases produced in the soil get trapped in crevices, before being exhaled as temperatures drop, say the researchers at universities in Israel and the US.

During the summer they expect at least 8 hours of “breathing” each day and in winter up to 20 hour’s worth.

Apparently this convection is taking place in cracks right across the earth’s surface but climate modellers have so far failed to spot it.

Historically, gas exchange models consider diffusion alone, but factoring in “geo-respiration” could increase vapour flux by 50 %

Particularly cracked parts of the earth’s face, where this effect is most pronounced, include permafrost zones, agricultural settings and desert playas.

I contacted Maria Dragila, one of the researchers at Oregon State University and she told me:

“Our next step is to encourage the scientific community to consider this mechanism and quantify the effectiveness of this breathing in different environments by direct field
measurements.”

Full details of this research can be found in Geophysical Research Letters.

Posted by James Dacey on February 12, 2009 4:57 PM | Permalink

On your day today, Dharti Mata, Earth Mother, I tried to see how you view yourself. I am no poet, but this came to mind:

Looking up at sky and space I see wonders of shadow and light
Moon's gentle glow and sun's blazing might
Stars twinkling, meteors streaking into bright sunshine
What of this is mine and what not mine?

Those little beings crawling, burrowing, living on my skin
At times heedless of me and other creatures who're kin
Preparing to sleep, asleep, awake, waking
Joining , connecting, meeting, celebrating


Zephyrs, winds, gales caress  my surfaces
Not quite reaching inward in those secret places
Where roam four-legged, multi-legged, no-legged beings
In caves, burrows, shafts, and ocean depths


As my focus shifts to the doings of my daughters and sons
I am discovering myself and our many wonders
There is that sense that together we are one
You call me Mother Earth and my work is done.

Globalist Perspective > Global Diplomacy From Global Crises to Global Governance   By Yilmaz Argüden | Saturday, March 28, 2009   In a perspective from Turkey, top business strategist and civic leader Yilmaz Argüden explores how global governance systems may be shaped by the world financial crisis. In looking forward, he takes lessons from the world's oldest international institutions — organized religions. The mortgage crisis that started in the United States has had a more drastic effect on the citizens of countries throughout the world than the fall of Berlin Wall on November 9, 1989 or the World Trade Center buildings on September 11, 2001. Global Governance   Remembering that the 1929 economic crisis was a root cause of World War II, one easily understands that this current crisis deserves our attention for reasons far beyond its mere economic ramifications. In thinking about setting up effective global governance mechanisms, one promising avenue is to learn from the main religions throughout the world. Beyond sharpening the awareness of Americans to the limitations of unilateralism, the current crisis has also shown Russians the fragility of depending on the ever-increasing prices of oil and gas to finance Russia’s new rise. It has also demonstrated to Chinese leaders the dependence of the “Chinese miracle” on continued global economic growth — as well as the level of profound integration of economies across the Atlantic.   However, the contagion effects of this economic crisis are much broader and have spread much faster than the SARS crisis that started a decade ago in China — and eventually led to the quasi-quarantine of a Canadian city, Toronto.   All of these events have a direct impact on our global governance systems. In practical terms, all of these events are clarion calls on us humans to ensure that our attitudes gain a global dimension as our daily life increasingly does so.   Imagine, for a moment, a management guru coming from a different planet to consult on how to establish a well-working governance system for the world. He/she would certainly not propose the current structure we find ourselves in.   The fact that jurisdictions for key governance issues such as elections, taxation and military organizations are still based purely on national boundaries makes it difficult to organize on a global scale. One of the common principles of religions is caring for and helping others who are in need. Another is to have a perspective longer than one’s own lifetime. Just as it would be almost impossible to run a factory optimally by asking the operator of each unit to run their machines optimally, the current organizational structure of the globe makes it difficult to agree on global priorities.   Obviously, the purpose of this hypothetical question is not to recommend abolition of national boundaries and establish a global government. However, in order to be able to deal with global issues in an effective manner, we need to understand the interdependencies between countries — and establish global institutions with adequate decision-making power which is shared and exercised equitably.   For example, it is difficult to justify the lack of veto power for India at the UN when France has one, regardless of which criteria is utilized: number of citizens, economic might, or being a nuclear power.   In thinking about setting up effective global governance mechanisms, one promising avenue is to learn from human institutions with longevity.   While there are differences among the main religions throughout the world, religions have generally survived for much longer periods than even the mightiest empires. One of the reasons for this is that religions focus on basic principles whose aim is the sustainability of communities.   One of the common principles of religions is caring for and helping others who are in need. Another is to have a perspective longer than one’s own lifetime. Remembering that the 1929 economic crisis was a root cause of World War II, one easily understands that this current crisis deserves our attention for reasons far beyond its mere economic ramifications. As the world gets smaller and more interconnected, we have likewise come to understand that sustainability requires a perspective longer than individual’s life — and that others’ problems are also our own. If we fail to accept this, we will be endangering our own future.   For example, many religions ask their followers to give alms to the needy. If we take our global responsibilities seriously, we should organize our global institutions in such a way. That implies that the rich countries contribute significantly to ensure that the global institutions would have the means to deal with the problems of the poor.   In a way, national almsgiving by the developed countries may be a more effective way to ensure global sustainability than ever increasing defense budgets.   One common teaching of all major religions is that sharing with others builds more sustainable communities. Now with increasing global interdependence, we have to understand at long last that we live in a global community.   Consequently, we have to attack the global problems jointly and apply good governance principles not only to our own governments, but also to global institutions. Religions have generally survived for much longer periods than even the mightiest empires. Global institutions will gain real legitimacy only if people have a say about shaping their own future, that is, to contribute in the global decision-making process. That is the principal thrust, and logical consequence of, the modern pursuit of modern age human rights and democracy.   If we are successful in bringing democratic principles to the solution of global issues, which entails the inclusion of all the interested parties in global decision making, we will be helping achieve a more sustainable and secure world.

...once more, a blog for my friends who feel they aren't ready to join Gaia yet, but read my blog.

Here are some discussions to check out.

• started a new conversation - Pranav Mistry: Inventor of the "Sixth Sense" and Sandesh in People Potential Pod
• posted a reply to the conversation "5.Compassion towards those who hurt others" in Walking the Labyrinth
• posted a reply to the conversation "Where Rivers meet - images of confluences" in The Power of Light
• posted a reply to the conversation "Haiku chain - going global" in GLOBAL PEACE POD
• posted a reply to the conversation "AUSTRALIA" in World Heritage Society
• posted a reply to the conversation "Free Trees!" in Green on Gaia
• started a new conversation - Cosmic Tree Images in The Power of Light 
• posted a comment on Alan's blog entry This Susan Boyle thing is kinda sad to me. : ( 
• posted a comment on Terrill's blog entry My interview with woman leader Tamara Gagne
  

and hey- if you join Gaia community, there's so much more than what you see here. See the Homepage

Right here! Around Gaia, and around my home...

In my mind's eye I see the river of life flowing by the reclining Buddha, gently smiling. the river kept flowing, I kept moving, but the Buddha was always there. I stayed exactly where I had been.

And the Buddha gently smiled and was still.

After a recent transition period, when I felt Gaia was expanding, perhaps deepening silently,  there's a stage of rumblings around Gaia, about what needs to change and what has changed.

Some of these rumblings are on Facebook where Gaians have made a space to chat about Gaia; some around groups here where members are calling out that something's wrong with Gaia as they're feeling lost in space or perhaps have cabin fever. I move around the outreaches and centers of Gaia and find it as always, vibrant in places, sleepy at others, so I think all one has to do when uncomfortable is move around a bit, reach out to a newcomer, read a friend's blog....or go for a walk and clear out the cobwebs from the  mind!

In another place,  group cultivators and  moderators are discussing ideas and wondering if we are too heavy-handed or serious or doing something wrong because a newcomer mentioned that she had felt unwelcomed in some groups. This is a healthy exercise, as we can always improve. It also shows the earnestness with which Gaians take feedback.

But as we are going through that discussion, a story comes to mind.

A few months back, a friend invited me to tell her my secret of making rice that is fluffy, moist, but not sticky. That's how  basmati rice is meant to look . I told her how I do it; and she requested that I go to her house to cook it for a party.

As I was washing the rice, she told me I was doing it wrong
As I was choosing a vessel to cook in, she suggested I use another one.
As I was adding water, she told me the correct way to measure it.
When I placed it on the cooking range, she told me how to use the heat judiciously

There is a seed of the time that we will not be here, that lies dormant
within us. It may be in the form of a definite plans or intentions; or
hidden deep within the psyche. Emotions, thoughts, energy of different
layers overlies this seed.

What will this seed sprout into?

Will it be as an oak tree, standing tall and straight, providing shade,
sustenance and support to its surroundings, providing acorns that grow
into separate trees; till one day it falls and sustains the earth and
trees around it, while merging into memory of things past?

Or a banyan tree, that spreads around a vast area, creating  its own
ecosystem: sending down aerial roots from its branches, that root in
Mother Earth and grow into strong trees, connected to the main trunk;
but  that can survive even when the main trunk is gone?




Which image appeals to you? As we seek to grow into universal light, are we
sending out oak energy or banyan energy? [And are we seeking something
better or worse? Nothing is better or worse!]
==

[cross-posted from The Power of Light]

Today is International Day of Dance.

On this day, I received an email from Explore Films showing Bharatanatyam, the Dance [natyam] of India [Bharat].

It is a classical dance form, from far-off times, when it was danced by temple dancers. Over time, it got corrupted by degenerate priests, till Rukmini Devi Arundale brought it into the classrooms of pure dance.


I am blessed to have met Attai [Aunt], as she was fondly called, in her later years. She knew my parents well, and had been instrumental in taking my mother, a young, shy girl form an over-protected, gentle childhood all the way south from Dehradun to Madras [now Chennai] where my mother took care of the weaving center at Kalakshetra - the Center of the Arts established by Attai.

My mother did not learn Bharatanatyam, but was friends with those dance students, one from Sri Lanka; and also designed and oversaw the weaving of the highly prized Kalakshetra sarees for the dancers.

Half a century later, a few years ago; my mother visited us in Miami. She took her 11 year old grand-daughter, my daughter, to a Bharatnatyam teacher's home to begin learning the dance. The teacher is from Sri Lanka, and learned Bharatanatyam from Attai. She and my mother relived memories of that special space created by a special person in faraway India.

And for a moment, a circle was closed and an upward spiral started.