Parenting the whole child
PARENTING THE WHOLE CHILD
What needs do you try to parent?
Do you parent the whole child?
If not, then where is your focus?
WHO IS A CHILD?
© 1997 Meenakshi SuriDevelopmental psychologists tell us that the child is a developing human being : one who develops biologically, neurologically, cognitively, emotionally, and socially through defined phases of growth.
These phases of growth are infancy, childhood and adolescence.
At all these stages, the parent[s] or primary caregiver[s] plays a crucial role in development. Their very presence or absence influence the child. The values they teach, the opportunities they give their children, and the manner in which they discipline the child - all affect the relative maturity of the person as an adult.
People need their parents at adulthood, too; but it is not with the same intensity or urgency as when they are growing so dramatically, as they do till adolescence.
Parents change the style of their caregiving as a baby grows into a toddler, a child, and finally a teenager.
The style also differs with each child. Child and parent thus influence the other; and as one grows, so does the other. The difference is, that the child's growth is easier to notice than the parent's!
According to ancient wisdom in India, children have a deep inner wisdom. However, they have to spend their childhood in gaining knowledge from a teacher, or guru. They are in the first of four stages of life, which is called Brahmacharya-ashram. This is the time to gain intellectual and physical strength, "learn correct behavior, self- control, art of developing a pure mind, and the duties of man and the proper relationship between you, your family, your society and the world", said Swami Vivekananda.
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WHAT NEEDS DO YOU TRY TO PARENT?
What are the Child's Needs?
Abraham Maslow, the famous psychologist, gave a structure to various human needs . The wonder of his theory is that he described the order in which humans try to satisfy these needs. Lower level needs dominate in the urgency with which they motivate a person to take action to satisfy them. Once satisfied, the need subsides, and a higher-level need takes over.
Maslow's Pyramid of Needs
It seems common-sense to believe that a hungry person [lowest-level biological need] would first try to assuage hunger before, say looking for shelter [safety/security] or making friends.
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Or that we would try to realize our potential [self-actualization] if we first have self-esteem.
How well does the heirarchy hold for people who are mystics or yogis?
What about a starving mother who feeds her child first?
What about children who are picky eaters? Who are very social but have low self-esteem? Or those who over-eat and are loners?
We need to see the importance of knowing the needs of our children and ourselves.
How well do we know these needs and energies inside us?
How well do we know them in our children?
Which level of the needs does the parent control?
THE CHAKRAS
Chakras, or wheels, are like energy fields within our consciousness. They are not physical, but are located around physical parts of the body, and influence our physical, mental, emotional and psychological state.
It is interesting to see how the chakras correspond to the widely-used Maslow's pyramid of needs.Chakras
Maslow's Pyramid of Needs
As we can see, the chakras extend to levels beyond Maslow's heirarchy.
DO YOU PARENT THE WHOLE CHILD?
Where is your main focus as a parent? How do you assess that your child
is “growing well?” If s/he is happy? Tall? Intelligent?
Getting good grades at school? Popular? Good at sports? Helpful? Kind?
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Maslow's Pyramid of Needs
Chakras 

Meenakshi, love this post. I've been following your many posts lately, but haven't had time to really stop by and say thank you for all of them. Today, I'm off work and have the time to really read this rather than skim.
It's especially meaningful to me because I work amidst 36 children 3 days a week and get to be in their homes and visit with their parents throughout the school year. After reading this, I feel that when I retire I will have the opportunity to do this work from the perspective you have shared with us here. This has inspired me. Thank you!
Hugs
Thank you so much, Judi. How blessed are the children you work with; I am humbled by your appreciation.
ya know, i am so grateful that more children (and adults) to day are exposed to more healthy ways of being…when i was growing up in the bible belt of Tennessee, it was no so…people did the best they could…my mom brought me up on parogoric and guilt…that is what she knew…
it turned out to be what i needed for the time i was raised in…cause here i am today free of all that conditioning…but it is nice to know that there is so much good information to rely on now for parents…and organizations as well, b/c if you do not get what you need as a child, you cannot grow to be a healthy adult…that is, until those emotional needs are first met…
i can tell you first hand, it is not fun growing up in public when you should already been there done that…
anyways, thnx for posting this Meenakshi…much love and joy*
Thanks starlight! On one hand, I feel how important it is to be parents who're mindful of the child's potential and not just be a spokesperson for society; and then I see how children sometimes manage to transcend limiting parenting; and I'm just heartened by this.
I do feel we 'need' to give thought to being wonderful parents; and then forgive ourselves for not being able to be that. Luckily there is that inner guidance in each child that can help them through.
If they're lucky.