It paused
it was poised at the edge
stuck between what was and what was to be
for a split second, the emerging butterfly was just that
emerging
not butterfly, not chrysalis




poised at the edge,
the butterfly gave one last push,
and without a backward glace
at the moist darkness that had been its home
it emerged.


But what did it leave behind?
Have you seen a butterfly that emerges
But is not aware of its freedom?
The one that has metamorphosed
Yet is still at heart a chrysalis

Don't push or pull or cajole a butterfly
to emerge before it is ready
Whether in a cocoon or in a slumber
Nothing but its own sense will help it to fly

It paused
it was poised at the edge
stuck between memory and possibility
for a split second, the emerging butterfly was just that
emerging
not flying, not sleeping
just poised.




And then it flew.
And left its memories behind.

[Adding 8: 33 am]

 In the next cocoon was one that paused
Its wings ruffled by the breeze
And another, not ready for flight
Resisting the blinding light
For the familiar warmth of its pupa

Unedited.©2010 Meenakshi Suri

Q:

I'd written this one several years ago, when I realized that we often challenge goodness and Divinity to reveal itself among the most negative circumstances of human life.

At the ego level, this is a search powered by fear, despair, anger: the “negative” human emotions. Looking deeper, we see the play of the hide and seek, with that wonderful message being passed to and fro:

I am not sure if the poem brings this out without this introduction; also, if I'm not sure if this is a poem in the strict sense of the term; as each verse is a different length and style?

Please C & C- then I could post the revised version on my blog/ Empowered pod, perhaps.

—————————

Looking for NotGod

by Meenakshi, 1999

Fearful for my safety, I went looking for NotGod

Hunting in the darkness of alley streets

And the cages of criminals,

I looked in the face of beasts

And the lairs of animals

I went gingerly, alert and ready

To battle, perhaps to run

To find and destroy the demons

And thus be safe forever

Protective about my feelings I went looking for NotGod

I peered in the faces of bullies

And in the jeers of crowds

In the cabins of bosses

And wherever there was power

I crept into all these places

For here I knew I'd find

The victims and the vanquished

Who had been left behind

To shield myself from shame I went looking for NotGod

Seeking the mortification of those with unequal bodies

The despair of those who had failed

Hurt in the eyes of lost lovers

The poor, the naked, the outsiders

In failure I'd find the disgrace of being

Out of step with the rest of the world

And then I could plead for the dignity

That each of us has sought

To protect myself from deception I went looking for NotGod

I frequented places where people sought

My time, my money, my attention

Attended talks by gurus and cons

And places where money changes hands

I wanted to find the people who cheat

And those who lie to steal

For I knew that if I could find them first

I'd be saving myself from hurt

To insulate myself from pain I went looking for NotGod

Peering into surgeries and sports fields

And wherever the body is pushed

I looked in places of violence

In homes and jails and schools

I looked in the hearts of criminals

And in the eyes of the afflicted

I rushed to find the pain

So I could stop the hurt

To stem the feeling of incompleteness I began to stalk NotGod

I needed to connect the separated strands

To root out the parts that were ruined

The places of worry and doubt

I tracked the places in all our hearts

Where inconsistency and chaos rule

The places where desire fights the desired

The darkest reaches of the soul

I looked in these places because I thought

That finally I'd find NotGod

In the places where kinks appear in our hearts

And I could work them out

But however hard I looked I could not find NotGod

For God had joined the search with me

And S/he was everywhere

So, thinking God is nowhere here

I found that God is Now Here!

In the unsafe places God is the courage we find

After we have known the unknown

Where feelings are hurt we learn to relate

To ourselves and to each other

Where there is Shame we discover

The self that needs to be nurtured

Where someone is cheated there is a lesson learned

That what we have gained should be nursed

Through the pain one can feel connected

To places that we never knew

And in the feeling of incompleteness is the knowledge of oneself

In which the fragrance of God can reside

In order to dispel darkness

I went with bravado to fight

But in the dark I realized

I could think of nothing but Light!

 

©2010 Meenakshi Suri

================

[crossposted in The Poetry Workshop]

A lack of knowing who I really am and Looking for Not-I when all I've to do is, search for I.

Yes! That's how my mother taught us to be: at the dot of time. Not early, not late.

If I'm going to be late [ah--so now it's coming out! Sometimes I AM not punctual]-- I'll call and say - "I'm going to be 7 minutes late" or whatever.

My great-grandmother taught us how to see time internally, and not need an outside watch or clock.

My mother's gentle guidance showed me how to work backwards from the time I've to do something, so that I can take care of all the processes that are involved. It took me three years to teach this process to a friend who was chronically late - famously, four hours late once for a party in her honor!

No longer. So I'm told :0

..or

Always be without desire

        in order to observe its wondrous subtleties;
     Always have desire
        so that you may observe its manifestations.

     Both of these derive from the same source;
     They have different names but the same designation.

     Mystery of mysteries,
     The gate of all wonders !

From  Verse 1 - Ma-Wang Tui Manuscripts

~~~~~~~~~~~~~The part below are my comments-----
Wondrous indeed!
It follows from my perspective -
both this and that are true.
Both this and that are not true.

Related blogs:

Two paths---circuitous and straight

my life in the three-dimensional world

Expect no consistency!

 

[Crossposted in part from the Living Metaphysics group  Re: Verse 1 - Ma-Wang Tui Manuscripts.]

The cloud wandered over the land and through the mountains,
Changing shape to suit the environment
When it encountered parched land
Rain fell

Rain continued to fall
The land was flooded
The sun came out

The sun continued to shine
Water vaporized
Clouds formed

When we flow into Gaia, we are cloud, rain, sun, land, water, and all the forces of nature that help one to morph into another.....

I just cannot believe it --Siona has asked the question using the very words that have been going through my mind. Guess Siona, that you are in my tribe, or I'm in yours or we're in one.

Who is my tribe? I just asked a question re 'tribe' at Torch's group on Native Spirituality because it's a term used by Native Americans in a way, I think,  similar to how I use it. I'll see.

I found myself recently writing that those who speak 'my language'  - and I mean neither English or Hindi but the expressions from the heart - would understand what I am saying. There are those who just 'get me', and I them. We understand the words and even more, what we are conveying, never needing an explanation. Sometimes they show me that they understood them as I did, and at other times, that they understood them even better than I did. We are definitely a tribe. I think they are my innermost tribe.

When we speak and listen to each other, whether in agreement or disagreement, there is a resonance, and that is what  I mean! Some of them I've met in visions, in dreams, in etheric space and magically in 3-D space! We know each other's energy signatures and will not lose each other, even if all other connections are lost. Come to think of it, there are some animals in this circle too!

There are those with whom there is an immediate heart connection. Eyes meet, and lifetimes are bridged. Instant familiarity. We are a tribe, spread all over the world, belongingto, but not defined by, different cultures. They are like stars who may stay or move out of the circle of my innermost  tribe.

Then there are those who are realated through ties of blood or familial connections and even if we have never met before,  there is an instant feeling of trust, support and comfort. That is quite marvelous, even though none of the other closeness may exist and we may never  get that  'get me'  feeling with each other.


There are concentric circles of outer bands, that ultimately connect to the human, animal, and all beings on Earth and beyond....discovering them is something truly magical.

As a child I had learned "all are my brothers and sisters." That feeling has always stayed with me.
Ultimately, as I connect with my tribes, I am connecting with my Self.

A major shift.

I blogged about it yesterday. [ LOVE!! ]

What happened before that were the stages of transition:

Deep hooks into the gut. The sacral-solar plexus area, the energy centers or chakras where reside emotions, feelings, attachments, will power, and that magical being called ego or jiva.

There was a major churning, not unlike the  Churning of Primeval Oceans

This resulted in a major shift, of understanding how we reach out to each other in the 4-D world. Through emotion. I took this as a message to begin to clear my relationships and get into a healing balance with my offline and online ones. I began to reach out to family and friends whom I had not met or spoken with for many moons, no longer reaching only when they are in trouble but also in companionship, and began to spend less and less time online, trusting that the vibrancy on Gaia would flow wherever it needed to flow. 

Online the connection is with words,  and they often lead us astray, as we are unable to really communicate except with those who are fully sharing space with us. Not all in the universe are meant to be in the same 'planetary systems' or meteorite belts! But what connects us all is - yes - love. So that was the major shift here.

I stay away from the energies of addiction but had gone into the energy of strain by 'working' too much on Gaia community.

 I honor all those who have helped me to see this by raking at 'i', scratching, clawing, swiping, draining. I  marvel at how real energy attacks can seem. But they helped me to shed one of  the sheaths that had covered me and that is a blessing beyond measure.

Hooks dissolved. "I' was reborn. As I wrote on a friend's blog --how i goes through WE to become I.

I honor all those who reflected their understanding of my words and actions, as that showed me the futility of relying on words till we can all operate from the intuitive heart. Many here, already know this.

I honor all those who watch in silence, with love and peace or care and concern or even annoyance and anger in their hearts, for they are seeking to communicate through energy and are able or attempting to understand in silence what cannot be understood by written words alone.

There is a scene in the book I'm writing.

A little boy is sitting by the river. He is surrounded by pebbles, each with a message. He picks up each, considers it and then chooses.
Whether he chooses to keep or to let go in the river, the underlying energy is clear.

LOVE!!

Can you feel it?

©2010 Meenakshi Suri